Prayer of Confession for Trump Enabling Pastors
Dear Fellow Evangelical Pastors:
As increasing numbers of Trump’s buddies jump his sinking ship, I’m sure that his evangelical allies are afflicted with buyer’s remorse. Even though many of you are in churches that don’t have prayers of corporate confession, we all know that confession is good for the soul, that you are all busy people with mega congregations, and that it may be as hard for you as it is for Trump to admit to wrongdoing. I offer this efficient means of making your belated–but I’m sure still graciously welcomed by our Lord–admission of sin.
Even though, as you well know, The Donald has rarely attended a church, knows little of the Christian faith, and brags that he will never, ever confess or even apologize for his sin, I
(check one or more)
- am embarrassed by
- sort of feel guilty
- wish I hadn’t got caught
I disregarded minimal standards of Christian belief and behavior and, in a four-year lapse of good judgment, and in reckless disregard for the spiritual health of my flock, supported and defended Donald Trump.
There, I’ve said it. Please don’t make me say it twice.
And Lord, though I’m sure you know there’s no excuse for me–a Bible-believing Evangelical — to consort with a lying, misogynistic, racist clown like Trump, I humbly submit for your gracious consideration my trumped-up excuses:
I (check any that apply)
- have a bad drinking problem.
- was intimidated by all the Trumpers in my congregation
- did not attend a seminary where the Ten Commandments were stressed
- feel some of the same things Trump feels for Putin and Kim Jong Un
- possess an AK-47 (but only use it as self-defense from my congregation)
- believe that our Lord made too big a deal out of serial adultery
- feel the same way as Trump about tax collectors
- like Trump, made a few mistakes, assaulted a few women, and stiffed some creditors in my twenties ( ), thirties ( ), forties ( ), fifties ( ), sixties ( ), seventies ( )
- Would, like Franklyn Graham, say or do anything, and sacrifice any principle for an invite to a fancy dinner at the White House
- am on my third marriage too
Therefore, I promise to cease making dumb statements like
(check any that apply)
- “Lincoln lied too”
- “Bone spurs are no joke”
- “Our Lord had a soft heart for prostitutes too”
- “Though there’s no evidence for it, maybe he’s changed”
- “Abortion, while not mentioned in Scripture, is the only sin that’s actually a real sin”
- “My children are not the brightest candles in the box either.”
- “Lots of people in the military were suckers and losers.”
- “It’s not a lie if you think it’s not.”
Lord, if you can forgive some of the stuff I did as a teenager (remember, that was before I got saved), if you could forgive a thief on the cross (who, for all I know, stole more than my former political hero), then surely you can forgive me for my political indiscretions. I’ll admit I’m not the best person in the world, and you know I have my faults, but, Lord, at least I’m not as bad as Trump. Please keep that in mind when separating sheep from goats.
Your faithful servant,
Christian Name Date
15 thoughts on “A Post-Election Call for Confession”
Ha – this is excellent, thank you bishop! 🙂
Will, How on target you are! Remember that conversation between Jesus and Nicodemus?
In the true style of tragedy… both funny and painful. Thanks, Will. May you and your family find peace and health in this tragic season. May we, the church, do better.
Thank you for having the courage to address what I believe is a major problem in our country.
Amazing commentary from a man of God.
I so hope you get the candidate you want – Biden. It means so much to you. You are so clearly willing to destroy
anyone who may differ in thought.
What a sad thing – I’ve admired and respected you for many years. I looked to you for the voice of reason. You are very, very biased …. I wish you well.
Does this mean you’ve been “destroyed”? Thank goodness you have no “bias” to speak of. 🙂
Best laugh I’ve had this week. Well said!
I’m out. You have enough fans to encourage your political mission.
Weird – I thought repentance was Christian. Apparently only pride is…
Dear Will Willimon
A Confession for a Biden Voting Bishop
Dear Lord, I humbly seek your forgiveness for casting my vote for a man who intends to
*) destroy the lives of the most innocent among us, the unborn
*) deny the attributes of male and female with which you have endowed us
*) use the power of his new office to harm your Church
*) speaks of 48% of his fellow Americans in subhuman terms, not as bearers of your image
*) calls himself a member of your Body while doing all of these things
*) all of the above
But I had a good reason Lord. I cast my vote for such a man because
*) Trump is just so… deplorable
*) those evangelical voters are just so… deplorable
*) My fellow bishops would have thought I was… deplorable
*) Facebook and Twitter hid the truth from me
*) Russia made me do it
So forgive me my trespasses, even though this time I didn’t trespass, because I was right to vote for a baby hating, Christian hating, science-hating, Left-wing lunatic, and all those Trump voters are wrong. And deplorable! (Did I mention that, Lord?)
Silly. Utterly silly.
“God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men.” How Christ-like.
first year seminary student very saddened by such writings!