Prayer of Confession for Trump Enabling Pastors
Dear Fellow Evangelical Pastors:
As increasing numbers of Trump’s buddies jump his sinking ship, I’m sure that his evangelical allies are afflicted with buyer’s remorse. Even though many of you are in churches that don’t have prayers of corporate confession, we all know that confession is good for the soul, that you are all busy people with mega congregations, and that it may be as hard for you as it is for Trump to admit to wrongdoing. I offer this efficient means of making your belated–but I’m sure still graciously welcomed by our Lord–admission of sin.
Even though, as you well know, The Donald has rarely attended a church, knows little of the Christian faith, and brags that he will never, ever confess or even apologize for his sin, I
(check one or more)
- am embarrassed by
- sort of feel guilty
- wish I hadn’t got caught
I disregarded minimal standards of Christian belief and behavior and, in a four-year lapse of good judgment, and in reckless disregard for the spiritual health of my flock, supported and defended Donald Trump.
There, I’ve said it. Please don’t make me say it twice.
And Lord, though I’m sure you know there’s no excuse for me–a Bible-believing Evangelical — to consort with a lying, misogynistic, racist clown like Trump, I humbly submit for your gracious consideration my trumped-up excuses:
I (check any that apply)
- have a bad drinking problem.
- was intimidated by all the Trumpers in my congregation
- did not attend a seminary where the Ten Commandments were stressed
- feel some of the same things Trump feels for Putin and Kim Jong Un
- possess an AK-47 (but only use it as self-defense from my congregation)
- believe that our Lord made too big a deal out of serial adultery
- feel the same way as Trump about tax collectors
- like Trump, made a few mistakes, assaulted a few women, and stiffed some creditors in my twenties ( ), thirties ( ), forties ( ), fifties ( ), sixties ( ), seventies ( )
- Would, like Franklyn Graham, say or do anything, and sacrifice any principle for an invite to a fancy dinner at the White House
- am on my third marriage too
Therefore, I promise to cease making dumb statements like
(check any that apply)
- “Lincoln lied too”
- “Bone spurs are no joke”
- “Our Lord had a soft heart for prostitutes too”
- “Though there’s no evidence for it, maybe he’s changed”
- “Abortion, while not mentioned in Scripture, is the only sin that’s actually a real sin”
- “My children are not the brightest candles in the box either.”
- “Lots of people in the military were suckers and losers.”
- “It’s not a lie if you think it’s not.”
Lord, if you can forgive some of the stuff I did as a teenager (remember, that was before I got saved), if you could forgive a thief on the cross (who, for all I know, stole more than my former political hero), then surely you can forgive me for my political indiscretions. I’ll admit I’m not the best person in the world, and you know I have my faults, but, Lord, at least I’m not as bad as Trump. Please keep that in mind when separating sheep from goats.
Your faithful servant,
Christian Name Date